Hey, it is February, the month of love! I wanted to share this with you before Valentine’s day so that all of you who did not have dates remember that sometimes you are better off alone than with someone who does not respect you but life got in my way so I am posting it now.
Anyway, there are a few things you need to know before reading this. Firstly, the stories are in no particular order because I could not decide which one is worse than the other. Secondly, not all of the stories are really my dating stories; some of the men mentioned below were my boyfriends, some were my friends and some were not even that. Lastly, I am sharing this just for fun. I am no longer in contact with anybody of the following people so let’s just laugh it off!
1. Good Luck!
My crush who I went on a couple of dates with threw a party at his house which I could not attend. Long story short, the next morning he texted me that our friend (who is gay) slept over. In his bed. And they are probably not just friends anymore.
2. Cannot Stand the Rejection
I was at this guy’s house, teaching him Italian and helping him to prepare for his next school exam when his father suddenly walked into the room where we were in. He found me sitting on the floor covered with a wooden chair that fell apart and made a noise. I honestly do not remember how we got into this situation but long story short, the boy confessed his love to me and I told him that I do not feel the same way so he became mad and threw a chair at me.
3. Break Up Over a Gift
He was my teenage love. We were dating for 6 months when my birthday came up. He bought me a silver necklace (a very childish one with dolphins and hearts but it was real silver) and we spent a beautiful day by the sea. The next day he told me that he needs some time to think and I never heard from him again. We met a few years later again but he never told me what happened or apologised for breaking up with me over text without an explanation.
4. Faithful Should Be Worldwide
This one is hard to explain. He was engaged to be married to another woman and to me he was just a friend until he crossed the line with a really weird comment. To understand the story, you also have to know that his (today) wife is diagnosed with schizophrenia and her medications caused her to gain a lot a weight and the man did not like her anymore as much as at the beginning. So I was going through a rough period at the time. I lost my appetite and consequently around 8 kilograms of my body weight. I was never overweight, so losing 8 kilograms almost made me look like a skeleton. I wrote something about this time of my life in my other blogs, you can find more about this at the beginning of Everything About my 2018 so I do not repeat myself. My point here is the following:
Me: “Thank you for being my friend. I really appreciate it. My last few months were the worst, it’s just nice to talk to somebody…”
He: “Well, at least you’re not fat anymore.”
Me: “What do you mean? I wasn’t… No, I’m not feeling good about my body right not… I need to start eating again.”
He: “I prefer your body as it is now.”
And this conversation was followed by an explanation that he is never going to break up with his wife but he just does not like her anymore so he is only going to be faithful to her only in the city where they live in. Outside of that, no rules apply. He invited me on a trip, I declined.
5. The Worst Date Idea
In Slovenia, there is a common joke that you should never take your girl on a date to McDonald’s because there is nothing worse than that. Not sure where this idea comes from but I can tell I totally agree. So this guy comes to pick me up to take me out with his convertible, totally showing off, driving like crazy. I was just hoping to survive his driving and wondering if his money is all he has to offer. So we got there and he ordered for me (he did not ask me what I want).
A 1€ worth plain vanilla ice cream, that is all I got. He had a hamburger. This is not even the weirdest part. On our way back he asked me three questions. First, why did not I put on some make-up for our date? I explained to him that I use make-up for special occasions only. Another was why do I not eat more. He wanted me to get fat(ter) so my breasts would grow big(ger). I was so shocked that I forgot to tell him that I was probably so skinny because I only had an ice cream today. The third question went something like this: “So I’m sure we are going to have sex sooner or later, why waiting, let’s do it today!” Yeah, I proved him wrong…
6. The Best Date Idea
There was this guy at my faculty that apparently liked me so he invited me out on a date – to a sauna. In my head, that sounded like swimming pools, water slides and a very fun day. I am not very comfortable being in my swimming suits so I usually put a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on in which I can go into pools with so I was quite looking forward to our date until…
A few days before our date we met on a hallway at the faculty and just like that he started a conversation with: “I can’t wait to see you naked on Saturday!” I. Was. Speechless. When he asked me to go to a sauna, he literally meant going to a sauna (I admit, my mistake.) but what I did not remember is that people usually really go to a sauna naked. Unless you are like me, then you do not. Anyway, in the end, he went to a sauna alone and he sent me a Snapchat from it. Ugh!
7. Another Sauna Story
My boyfriend was already in our bedroom. I returned to the living room because I forgot to take something from it. His best friend was preparing to go to sleep on the couch and he started a very weird conversation asking me why am I wearing my PJ’s. I was thinking to myself: “Well, there is a strange man in the house, should I walk around in my underwear?” I probably looked confused so he said that it would not bother him even if I was naked and that he cannot wait for the day we will go to a sauna together.
So I went to the bedroom and told my boyfriend what just happened and that I think his friend was being inappropriate. He replied: “Well, I saw his girlfriend naked so he should see you.”
8. Bali or Maldives?
Same guy as above. He was planning a trip with his friend and I have found it out after she posted on Facebook that she cannot wait to go on a vacation with him. So he tried to convince me that he simply forgot to tell me and that it was just a friendly trip but she added a couple of heart emojis in that post. On top of that, she had no idea that he has a girlfriend.
9. Is This a Joke?
I was in a friendly long-distance relationship with this one. We were both singles at the time so we met once or twice per month to go to the theatre or cinema or just dinner together but we were not intimate because he had the problem. I am not sure how this happened to him at such a young age but he did not want to talk about it.
So one day I got a text from him that his father had a heart attack and he is in a coma. He said that he will stay in the hospital for a few days and will have his phone turned off. So when I was worried about his father’s health for days, my friend was actually in Asia on a trip with some girl from Russia. To this day, I cannot believe he was lying about his father’s health and honestly, if he just told me to wants to go, I would let him. He was not my boyfriend anyway!
10. Show the World You Can Do Better
I was a few months into the relationship with this guy when one day, his parents had a big fight. It ended by his mom sleeping on a couch in a living room instead of in their master bedroom with her husband. Their marriage was far from perfect, the man was cheating on her in the past and that was apparently OK. Not sleeping together? Less OK.
So the next day my boyfriend came to me in tears, told me all about what had happened when he suddenly got an idea that he does not believe in love anymore and he wants to break up with me. His parents are still together though!
11. Something Did Not Match
There was this guy who knew how much it would bother me if my boyfriend was younger than me. So he lied about being older which was totally believable until I realised he is still in high school when I was already at the faculty. At some point, he even said that he failed a year in school rather than to confess he is younger than me. Nothing happened between us anyway because I had a weird feeling about him.
12. He Is Renting His…
Not so long time ago I posted an ad that I would like to rent an apartment in Ljubljana because I miss my life as it was before I moved to Croatia. I do not want to look for the apartment myself, I believe that when somebody sees my ad and calls me, that would be the sign for me to go. Anyway, I did get an e-mail regarding my ad and it went literally like this:
“Hi, my name is X, I am 33 years old and I am a lawyer. I have a 48 square metres big luxury designed apartment in the centre of Ljubljana and you can move in with me free of charge if you accept to… khm… you know… with me.”
I still live in Croatia. The saddest part of this story is that he has no idea who I am and how do I look like. On the platform where I posted the ad, he can only see my nickname which is impossible to connect with my name.
Hopefully, this made you laugh! I have so much more to share but I will spare some of them for another occasion. At this point, if you are wondering what kinds of idiots have crossed my path, the answer is ‘all kinds, apparently’. If you can recognise yourself in the stories above, I am asking you again to stop stalking me and reading my blog. And if you want to read more, find a story about a guy who just out of the blue asked me to… in my old blog here under Example no. 2.
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