Did you know that every third woman has been sexually abused at least once in her life? That means if you have three lady friends, it is very likely that one of them has been raped. Are you thinking which one might that be? Let’s start with me.
It happened on this day, 14th of July, ten or more years ago. I am not giving you the exact date due to some privacy protection and because I just do not feel like it. It does not even matter how old I was after all. This was never supposed to happen.
I have cried the whole time, begging him to stop although I knew he was not going to. Not that he took only my virginity, he stole my childhood dream about what is it going to be like for the first time.
This period lasted long, way too long. It carried on for five months and twenty days to be precise. I was trapped in a situation I did not know where to find the exit. He was being violent to me in every possible meaning; physically and psychologically. Once he even broke a chair that he threw at me. He kept on appearing at my home door at any time he wanted to, day and night, to check out on me or to remind me I have to keep my mouth shut. He was threatening me he is going to hurt my family if I tell anyone what was happening. And the messages he was sending me publicly to my social media were just horrible and shameful.
How did it end, you wonder? To be honest, I do not even remember. One day I have simply stopped being afraid of him. I have blocked his phone number, avoided him on the streets. Sure, it was not so easy, since he kept calling me from the other numbers and he knew where I lived. He and his group of friends have waited for me outside my school weeks after that, telling me it is going to be over when he decides so, not me. The scene looked like we were in a movie – they have surrounded me, persuading me to follow them and not to look scared or suspicious. Luckily, one of my schoolmates saw that something bad is going on so she approached us and said: “Daisy, my father came to take us home. Let’s go.” This was a total lie, of course. We were not even friends. But to this day, I am thankful she saved me from that ring of trouble. I do not know what would have happened if she did not show up.
Soon he got tired of me and has found himself another victim. She was even three or four years younger than I was at that time. I have heard some stories later on about what was he doing to her. He did not let her finish even her elementary school. He has visited her at home and beat her up in front of her parents who did nothing because they were afraid of him as well. And today she is raising two of his children.
Why am I writing about this?
I swear that I do not want your sorry messages. I am fine. Two years after that I was finally ready to speak about it so I went to therapy where I overcame the questions like: “Why did I let him do that?” and “Why has this happened to me?!” and today I am glad to say I have no intimacy problems.
Unfortunately, not all the women out there were so lucky. I was thinking about how I can help them many times. So to start talking about this is the first step. Especially because I felt like I had no one I could talk to at that time. I want to tell all of the sexual abuse victims that this is not their fault. No matter what has happened it is not your fault!
If you have any idea what else I can do to help, please let me know. You can even do it anonymously via my contact me form at the top of the page. And if you know anybody who needs to read this, please link it to them. Let them know they are not alone.
By the way, not even a single tear was shared while remembering it and writing about this. Yey for me! 🙂
Check out the photos from my trips on my Instagram page @daisydadee.